Episode 2: What did we learn in our twenties?

Hi, welcome back to Catch Up with Liz and Evy.

⁓ hi! Welcome, welcome. It's so good to be catching up with you.

It is so good. So we've decided, I think we're what, 90 % sure? Catch up with us.

I feel very, I feel let's fucking go. Yeah, until there's like, fuck it, let's go. Absolutely.

Fuck it, let's go. Before you tell me about your week, how was recording the podcast? I mean editing, sorry, editing the podcast.

Yes, so my week, we set the tone by recording our first episode ever and it really, really set the tone for my entire week and it makes me so happy. It was so fun editing the podcast. It was at times frustrating because my computer's like old and I've never done anything to make it not shitty. ⁓ it made me want a new laptop, but like actually listening to us talk and like getting to to see our faces too, our expressions.

I was very caught up in our expressions and how my face moves and I'm very aware of it right now even, but I'm also like, okay, that's not what this is about. And then I listened to it only, I didn't watch it. And especially after I cut things out and was learning how to fix it for flow and things like that, I think it is just so fun. It's so fun to be getting into the process of something.

⁓ That's what I want. That's what I wanted to add to my life. yeah. And like, it's just exciting. It's only going to get more interesting. And I feel like there's just so much to learn in any new space, but I'm excited to learn. I'm excited to learn.

It's something fun. Like I really enjoyed recording last week. I was really looking forward to recording again. And it's nice to have something like a project that's fun that you look forward to because I haven't had that in a long time.

Totally. And I feel like last week I was very much like ⁓ wanting to, like I very much want to approach this like and take it seriously, right? And I feel like I felt very seriously going into the first recording, which is also fun. But right now I'm also like, like we were throwing around names and things and like, I'm also just like, let's just lean back and lean into it at the same time where I'm like, let's just, let's see what we can create by just being ourselves and having fun.

Consistent, like not, what's the word? Rigid? Yeah, exactly. Consistent, not rigid.

We're on the same page and I... Exactly. Exactly. We get each other and it's fun. Like, I feel too, like we have only talked about the podcast with each other when we've texted. and I feel like, but like, love that there's something so satisfying about being in it with someone. I, it's just great.

It's the theme of our lives, honestly. It's great.

How was your week,

It was nice. was like thinking back on it. I'm like, what did I even do this week? But we had a couple nice days of weather, not like that nice here in New Jersey, I could take what you can get. So did a couple walks, which like, honestly, if you live anywhere, just like, and don't feel like, I don't know, like you have to like do a whole thing, a whole to do to get together with friends, just be like, Hey, you free for a walk, meet up at a park and like get together for an hour.

Happy to hear it.

Like we got last Sunday, actually, before we recorded, like met up, grabbed coffee, went for a walk. And then during the week, like after my friend finished up her work day, like found a spot between the two of us. It like, never been there before, but fuck it, let's go. It was a really nice walk, caught Rio. And it was chill. So a couple walks. ⁓ And then also I did a few walks by myself. But like with Rio in the stroller, he would like fall asleep after, I don't know, maybe like 10 minutes, go around the block, left him in the driveway, opened the garage, worked out while he was like right there.

I'm like, this is peak. This is really nice. Yeah. So I'm like, I need to do like now that, okay, that worked. Definitely more of that coming up. yeah, that's really kind of like, it wasn't really a crazy week.

That's so nice. Yeah. No, it was not too crazy on my end either, just work and, ⁓ but social. I feel like I did a lot of social things. And yeah, it was fun. I feel like I did a lot this week, but had a lot of energy. Like Connor and I are right now are just very, just trying to like help each other be more productive and like do things that we want to do and not talk about things, get them done.

But I also managed to read a book. I also managed to like see friends. I was at my friend's house last night for sancocho, which her mom made. Like it's a Puerto Rican stew, essentially with a lot of root vegetables and corn and just, but it was just so fun. We just like played pool and like the whole reason like Connor and I came home after it and we were both just like, that is, that is what we value.

Like it was so community. Like the whole, the whole reason we were there. was that her mom made stew and then they wanted to share it with all of us. And we all just hung out, everyone brought aside and like at the end, Connor was like, this is just how you know, like it's all about like giving and everything. at the end, they just package all the food up for you to take home with you. You know what I mean?

And we come from a community driven background. like, it's just nice. It's just nice. I feel.

Thank And like to break up the work week. It's not like you wake up, you work, you watch a show, you go to bed. Like it's so much fuller when you're experiencing life with friends and doing things like that. it's like, don't, nothing has to be perfect. Like you can just like throw something together, come for a stew or like last minute, like, hey, come hang. Like that is truly what life is about. And yeah, it's good to break up your week like that.

Yeah, for sure. like, you don't need to do a full house clean before you invite me over.

Just my milk.

Just send me an invite and please make stew. And then we saw Project Hail Mary today.

Yeah, exactly. Okay, tell me about it. really have- Tell me? No, and I need a new book.

You read Project Harry? Elizabeth, Elizabeth. This is definitely one of my all-time favorite books.

Got it. Okay. The fact that- here's what holds me back. A, the cover. I'm like ⁓ not into it. god. Is it just like all sci-fi?

No, I understand. ⁓ Lizzie, I need you to read this book. I'm not even going to answer those questions. Do you trust me?

Of course. Alright, fine. Do you- Yes, I need one.

Do want to read a good book? Do you need a book that's easy to read but also stimulates every part of you?

Absolutely. Read the book. I actually do. I'm like very much in need of a new book.

Project Hail Mary will not disappoint you. That's all I have to say.

Hopefully there's not like a bajillion holds on it in Libby.

There absolutely will be. I will mail you this book.

I mean, I could also go to the library and potentially edit, that. Okay, I'll read it. It may not be like tomorrow, but I will read it. I've been thinking that I'm like, okay, everyone's saying it's amazing. But also how's the movie?

You should totally do that. The movie was great. ⁓ It was really good. When they first announced, I am a nerd about this book. I love this book. ⁓ When they first announced that Ryan Gosling was going to be the main character, at first I was like, shit, that's not a good idea. Best case scenario, we get a no-name good actor who can embody this role. That's just because the story is so unique. to me or whatever, I just was like, don't want to be trying to forget about Ryan Gosling.

⁓ But the book is also very funny and Ryan Gosling is a really good comedic actor. He just is. But again, he has his own flavor. It's very obviously Ryan Gosling. ⁓ But he did a great job. The people who made the movie did it justice by they created like a set. like he's not in CGI, CGI-ing much. Like he's in an actual like set they built that looks like a spaceship. There's multiple spaceships and he, they made them all.

And they also like had astrophotographers take real photos and like, ⁓ yeah, so. They did a great job.

That's crazy. They put money in.

And the music was awesome and the characters ⁓ were great and it was very enjoyable. But like a big part of the book is like problem solving, which is why I love it. I love books that are like, here's a problem, here's how I'm working through this. And then solve it. And the book is like a series of problems that he resolves and like, you know, he's a scientist, he's trying to find answers.

Here's how to solve it.

does find answers throughout the whole book by doing experiments. so it's, it's hard to show that in a movie. And I think the movie did a really good job of like getting into the emotional aspect of it and showing you the world where as obviously a book can't show you that you create it in your mind. So they did a really great job of like bringing it to life visually and emotionally. But I was definitely at points I was like, I'm where's like the problem solving, that feeling of like, ⁓ that really satisfying feeling of satisfying.

He's struggling, he's struggling, he's struggling, then he finds the answers. There was a lot of that, but I was being nitpicky. At some point I was like, just another target.

like satisfying. When you're a book person and whenever they make a movie from a book, it's almost always not as good. Like maybe every single time. So you always have to separate it a little bit, it's especially hard with a book you love.

No, and I think the movie was fantastic and they did a fantastic job. And that's exactly what my conclusion was. was like, they made a movie from a book. So this is the movie version. You don't get your book. The book's the book. ⁓ No, it was awesome. I'm probably going go see it again.

Okay. How long is it?

At least two hours. Okay.

Alright, I feel like movies these days are like two and a half to three hours.

think it's two and a half. Yeah, like 220 or something like that.

Okay, which is fine. Yeah. what your money's worth. Just funny, like some movies are so long.

Yeah, why? But like this one, this one, I was not going to complain about the length.

No, of course. Well, I watched not nearly as, ⁓ I know, glamorous. I watched Bridgerton. I'm still.

finishing

Um, but okay. It's so refreshing to watch Bridgerton. It's just like nice throw it on. It's like the music, the costumes, the, it's just like it like truly is a show that takes you. It's such a cozy way. It's so nice.

me life. It gives me life. can see escapism, like there's nothing better.

They do such a good job. And like you feel good, like you could watch the next episode, you could save it. It's not like you need to watch the next one. Like they do such a good job.

Every episode I feel fed.

Yes. Like, I was like, ⁓ it took me so long to watch it I really didn't love the last season. But yeah, I'm like thoroughly enjoying it. I think it's so, it's so nice.

What's your take on Benedict? Benedict. Yeah. Yeah.

⁓ I've always liked Ben. I've always liked him. It was funny when he was like, because I was wondering how they're going to tie this in because in the last season, he like had the whole threesome scene. I wondering like how, okay, so he's just like all of a sudden like, can I get married now? what? Totally. And like it was just like a simple conversation with Sophie.

Mm-hmm.

But I was like, okay, I'm glad that they're not just like brushing it under the bush. I was laughing at the one point where like, you know, like they're finally like making out in the stairwell. And he goes, it's like this lead up, this lead up, this lead up. I have to ask you something so important. Will you be my mistress? You're just like, like the way they built it up to it. And then like her reaction is exactly how you felt.

You're like, seriously.

Benedict, get your shit together. That's how they like when it first dropped that's where they ended too and it was like, ugh, we hate Benedict.

together. is so funny. I thought it might be just the way it, I thought it was either there or when the old family moved ⁓ next door. But that was, I was like, this is definitely like a good moment to end it. No, what was the other part I was laughing at when, ⁓ the sister, so spoiler, sorry, spoilers for anybody who hasn't watched yet. The sister is like asking everyone, what's the pinnacle?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. crazy. ⁓ my god. Did you find that funny or like dumb?

No, I was laughing. I thought it was hilarious. Because you know what, like, it's like that little bit of dumbness where you're like, the whole first season though was like kind of based on not knowing what sex is. No, it's so true. So like this like brings that back in a little bit.

That's a good point. Yeah. It is so funny. mean, it's so interesting. Bridgerton's amazing, but it's like what they change and what they don't, which I love because there's still many women today who don't know how to reach the pinnacle.

So that made me laugh. The pinnacle. exactly. And like, it's funny because like sex is obviously such a huge part of the show, right? Not a huge part, like it's a big part of the show. But like, it's like, ⁓ they all like, some of them know how to have really good sex and how to like reach the pinnacle, whatever. Totally. And then otherwise, like they don't even know how it works and like why, like the first one, like why she's not getting pregnant.

like he does, like. And like also some of them are having sex all the time and like threesomes and like Violet Bridgerton is like hooking up with the brother but like also none of the girls know which I guess like Sophie also knows how to like masturbate in bed but has never had sex before and then like right it's having like so much sex with men it took the first time you're like okay like it's just like all right

Yeah, I mean, yeah, the romance genre.

Exactly. I mean, yeah.

It would be nice to hear like because like the the Bridgerton brothers like talk about ⁓ Like mistresses and things like that, right? They all know that they all know how to have sex, right? It would be refreshing to see like the sisters like chatting about sex as well or like having kids or like something ⁓

Yeah, but they're like, ladies. They don't talk about that. Even like the Featherington sisters. Featherington, right? Yeah. Yeah. like, what, like the one like they weren't even having sex, right? she was like,

Right! She was like, I wanna- Well, and like maybe that's an example of the husband also not knowing

True, true.

I think that's what that was meant to be. was like they both didn't know how to have a kid. Yeah. And they had to be told, you know?

There you go. I don't know. I wonder what it actually was like at that time.

I mean, that's what fucking happens when you have children getting married. Yeah. You know? Like, they're probably both, like, 18.

And right. Yeah, literally.

And like some boys, sure, the rakes, but like the little, the little twerpies. The ones who didn't look like, you know, winning, not winning any duel.

So free. You have to laugh. Those were the two notes I put. It doesn't take away from the show in a way, just adds to the... It's just a little dramatized.

So leave in some things so that we can enjoy them.

Exactly. And then what else? We watched Love Overboard on Hulu. This new reality show with Gabby Windy. think like Alex Cooper is somehow involved in it or like producing it or something like that. But I love Gabby Windy. She can do and say no wrong ever in my eyes. She is so funny. And Andrew is like, he's like, she's like,

⁓ huh.

sometimes really annoying. like, yeah, her voice, but like, you don't understand that's on purpose. Like she doesn't care that she's annoying you. In fact, she's probably annoying you on purpose a little bit. Like, I just love her. She's hilarious. Gabby Windy. ⁓ you don't know. Evie.

OOF Wait, what's her name? No, I don't know. ⁓ wait, wait, wait. Is she married to Rob? Yes. ⁓ well, I love Rob. Robbie. Hey, I know her and she is amazing.

Yes, Rob Hoffman. Robbie. Yeah, I need to watch. Amazing. was the Bachelorette. So she was on Traders, not this past season, the season before. Right. And so it was like, oh, the Bachelorette, like, how was that? She's like, the Bachelorette, how'd it go for me? She's like, well, I'm gay now.

And I'm not the only one. That's like the best trend ever to come out of those shows is the lesbians. ⁓

Exactly. It is a trend now, for real, there's so many of them.

I love it. No, I don't know if this is gross, but like, I feel like in the past, I absolutely judged women like that, who like very much seem superficially like airheads. Come to find out they're comedic geniuses. Yeah.

She was like an ICU nurse or is don't know anymore

I think I heard Robbie Hoffman on a podcast talking about that, which, yeah, I'm obsessed with them.

Yeah. All right. So should we get into our topic? Love it. So things we learned in our twenties for reference. I don't think we ever actually said, Evie is 31. I'm 30. About to 31. I'm the baby. No, I'll be 31 in a couple of weeks. Should I start? Yeah, go for it. I put number one, listen to your body. Your body tells you lots, a lot, a lot. So listen to it.

Yes, do it. Good baby.

When I was like really stressed out and not getting enough sleep and working crazy long hours and not really liking it and like stressed about what do I actually want to be doing all these things like I lost so much hair. I shed so much hair. And then like I got sick more than I ever have when I was working like harder than I should have been working. Like I got strep throat at one point when I was 20 something.

And yeah, your body tells you things. And like, if you're getting sick a lot, if you're losing hair, if you're not feeling good, if you're not getting enough sleep, listen, there's a reason and more likely than not, you know what that reason is deep down. So stop putting your body through it. I think it's a difference too when you know, like, if you're pushing really hard for something you wanna go for, it's not as stressful as if you're pushing really hard for something that you're like, I know that this is not for me.

But either way, your body tells you things, so. Don't lose all your hair. Although I'm losing it now again. ⁓ It's different though, like I know what to expect and whatever. But listen to your body. I feel like that's ⁓ big one.

That's very- Fight to keep your hair. Yeah. That is, that is awesome. ⁓ it leads very nicely into my, learned how to work out in my twenties. I didn't, I don't think I, it was definitely a form of listen to your body. ⁓ but I feel like I really, you know, always active, always athletic, always, doing sports, whatever, but never like intentionally training. ⁓ like, you know, lower body, body, all of the compound movements, all that stuff.

And shout out to Liz because when we lived together in Morristown, you taught me how to deadlift. remember it like yesterday. And as we, as we said, Liz was majoring in exercise science and doing a lot of stuff for school. And she would come home and like practice teaching those things on me. And I got the benefit of that. And you helped shape my entire like ⁓ perspective on training, the gym. all that kind of stuff.

And you've always been a source of information for me. But yeah, I just, I remember like very much not recognizing that I was like anxious or like a little depressed at times through college, just to like, not knowing what I wanted to do, but putting so much money and time into college and like feeling very out of control a lot of the time. And it really helped when I started to work out and I was able to like clear my mind and like understand how my body was talking to me and things like that.

like seeing, I think something else too is like I never really gained weight. And I feel like I gained weight in like when I was like 23, 24. And I didn't know anything about how to get through that or like. what to, how to like not fix that, that's normal to gain weight. But I ⁓ didn't know what was in my control when that happened and nutrition and exercise are in your control and like learning how to use those two things changed my life or just helped guide it in the right direction.

And to this day, ⁓ fitness plays a huge role in my life and I know in yours too.

Yeah, oh definitely. It's like, and I notice it too whenever I don't get like a workout in or even just get outside, I'm like in such a bad mood. I'm so like, like it really affects me more than I realize. And then I do get a workout in or even just like a walk. And I'm like, oh, I feel great. Like I feel so good.

Life is worth living. ⁓ bitch. No, I say this all the time to Connor and whoever will listen, that like living the past four years I have like professionally in a place that's always sunny and I can exercise a lot, I don't know how I would have done this otherwise. You know what I mean? Like such a different way of life as I like. No, yeah, I know. Yeah, working out.

was bad. I also think I know a lot of like postpartum anxiety and depression. This is no evidence I haven't looked into any of this at all, just personally going through it. I think a lot of it is if you are an active person or used to like just like being up and doing things, then all of a sudden you can and you're taking care of a newborn. And obviously like the drop in hormones and everything that actually does play the part.

But like for me at least that was a big part of it is just like having to sit and I had a C-section. So like having to sit and recover from surgery and like not be able to do anything. And in the winter, yeah, that was hard. When I could start working out again, even though I started with like literally like breath work, it definitely made a difference. Like I started to feel better sooner I think because I incorporated that as soon as like breath work at like, I don't know, four weeks or something like that.

And then like,

end in the winter. Yeah.

really light core things. Anyway, we don't have to get into all of that, but it definitely played a part in helping me feel better.

Yeah. And I think what I learned in my twenties was not just like, it was, I got rid of that ⁓ preconception that gym bros go to the gym and that's it. Like you gotta be so into your vanity to go to the gym. And that kind of got dispelled. And I was like, ⁓ no, this is like for life. You go exercise for life because it benefits your life in so many ways. And also it just helped like my entire mindset shift.

was like, ⁓ I understand.

Yeah.

what it is to like have goals. I hate that we're talking about goals again. Here we are. But those are different.

those are different types of goals. Once you like, when you start working out, if you do it like for, I don't want to say physical purpose, but if you do it for like body image purposes, versus if you do it for like, how you want to feel, it can be very, very different. Like you have to like make the goal, no, I'm doing this for health and to feel good. Not like because I want to look a certain way.

Not that that's bad either, but I just think it gives you the longevity.

I think it's totally, I think it helps with your mindset of like, I'm never gonna quit the gym, it doesn't exist for me. Like that doesn't make any sense.

Exactly, exactly. And it's not like you're chasing like a certain body weight or body composition. You can if that's your goal and that's what you like, but if you're just starting to get it, like it's, I don't know.

Yeah, would hope that's not, I would hope anyone who started with that goal, their goal would evolve. But it's so nice, it is so freeing to know that like, hey, if you're coming off of January, December, January, February, and like you feel fluffy, guess what? A little bit of calorie restriction and a little bit, a day extra at the gym a week, you're gonna be good. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's freeing to know that those things are real tools.

Or even if you don't wanna, we can talk about this on a whole different. You don't wanna respect your calories, like, okay, let me replace this with some vegetables, like I'll eat the same, whatever. I just like different choices for a little bit. the same choices. Yeah, anyway.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, You don't always have to restrict, you can add.

Okay, moving on. The next thing on my list, okay, this is a good one. I put play more. something that I learned, definitely Andrew helped a lot with this, but Andrew got really into volleyball league. think he played when he was in middle school and like kind of his high school didn't have it so he never played. But then got back into adult leagues and then like roped me into it. And we just played gym volleyball, but like now I'm like learning actual volleyball.

Alright.

And like we were talking about earlier, it's such a good way to break up your week. We've made so many friends. They like took us out to dinner before we had the baby. And I hadn't been playing in a little while because I was pregnant, but took us out to dinner and like got us a really nice gift card. Like made such good friends. And it truly is. There's something about. ⁓ just like moving your body and having fun in that way, like just playing, even if it's like like card games, you know, like instead of being on your phone, like sometimes Andrew and I would just have a game on the table, like a two person card game or like little tile game from Amazon we have, but like you just, like banana grams,

something like that. just sit and it's out and you do that instead of scrolling and like, it's something, it's another mental health thing, but something. so good and your brain happens when you turn off everything else and you're focusing on playing literally like it's just so freeing and that's it's so important so play more so sports games just play more especially

I love that. Especially when you're in, well, not especially, but like when you live with someone, when you're with your partner, like it's so nice to have those things built in. Like you said, having the games on the table, that is a great idea. got to put that. Yeah. Yeah.

Throw like a chessboard on the table. But it doesn't have to be that intense. It's hard. But I agree, this is good one.

Banana Grimes is a good one because you really got to think a little bit. Love it.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay, card game, whatever.

One of mine, I just put what it means to think for yourself. Not as fun. I feel like I should have done something like play. That's a good one.

Don't be jealous of mine, please, you have your own.

⁓ Instead of, don't know, going with the flow, every now and then you got to strike out on your own. And I feel like I really learned that, ⁓ later in my, especially getting married and things like that. like deciding to move to Raleigh, deciding to coach field hockey, ⁓ just like the little ways you have to strike out on your own and like all of-

You don't ⁓

Yes, deviate, deviate. Is that the saying, strike out on your own? But yes, not... You gotta go your own way sometimes. gotta pull a fleet with Max. ⁓ Yeah, and I feel like I'm still very much learning actually what that means to like successfully do that and like do that with intention and like with all your ducks in a row.

I think so. Like, go your own way. Exactly.

I don't think I did much of that. A lot of analogies. As I said, ducks in a row. Maybe you need a timeout. Maybe take a break. What time is it? Don't look. Anyway, that's my other one.

Peace. I love it. Okay, my next one is consistent, healthy routines are worth it. We kind of already touched on this, but like if you can build just a little bit of consistency, it doesn't have to be perfect, but like a little bit of consistency throughout your week, it goes a long way and it's a habit that stays with you for a long time. like working out was a big one for me. I started really consistently doing it.

like you said, training with intention in my 20s, like early 20s, and then probably in my later 20s, consistently like just trying to like think about the week ahead and cooking, not necessarily meal prepping, but having more of a plan for the week ahead. And definitely like life happens and you get off track with it, but it's so much easier to get back on track when you have those habits already ⁓ in place. So it's definitely...

worth it because once something becomes a habit, it's significantly easier. Like it's only, it's not only hard at first, but it's much harder at first. ⁓ and when you're just keep doing it, you're thinking about it less and less and it eventually becomes something you just do. And all of sudden you have like a couple nice healthy routines that are just worth it. And it could be as simple as like going on a walk before work or going on, if you work from home or going on a walk after dinner, ⁓ like really, really small, simple things.

but definitely worth it to put the energy into it when you're younger.

Yeah, no, I think that's really good advice and everyone listening should take it.

Things I learned, advice for your 20s, you know. Yeah, go either way.

⁓ Pick something to work hard at. ⁓ Which is definitely something I'm still learning to do, but I do think that was, ⁓ my God, if you hear that noise, that is a frog. Do you hear that? That's crazy. It sounds like my alarm. That's like a duck. That's a frog.

Is it in your window again?

You I don't see it but like presumably yes

Check your bed.

Don't say that. No, but I often am like, is there a frog in my house? Answers maybe. But what did I even say? Pick something to work hard at. Because I feel like we have all this doom scrolling shit and stuff like that. You're either going to be anxious sitting still or you can be putting that energy towards something.

The answer is yes.

which it should be put towards Bananagrams and it should be put towards like I picked up a lot of hobbies. ⁓ And I've just found that like that really gives me so much peace because it really doesn't matter what you put effort into. You just need to put it somewhere because if you're, you, cause we have, all of us have this like insane potential to do things. And if you don't do anything,

Yes, you do.

it just turns into some kind of like self-loathing, which is maybe a little too intense, I find that like, and I resent that a little bit.

Cause you almost blame yourself through like, why am I like-

I almost resent that thought. I do have that. I do end up blaming myself. Like, why aren't you doing anything worthwhile? But that's what your parents used to tell you growing up. Like, get outside, stop staring at that. You know what I mean? So I resent that being true. But I do find it.

⁓ I see what you're saying. Like, god damn it, those parents were right again.

It feels like that. feels like someone tried to teach me that lesson when I was two ⁓ and when I was five and when I was eight and when I was fucking 18. ⁓ And it took this fucking long to admit that it is correct. Yeah, just like I've been painting and like I find that extremely satisfying, but also like it's annoying. Like you can't make a painting look good unless you really try. or even when I'm writing like

Yeah, good point.

You can't.

Just be for yourself. on.

Show me what you got. ⁓ Yeah, so I'm still learning that lesson, but put effort in somewhere.

So we wish you It's, yeah, love that. It's true. Okay, my next one. Things do not need to be curated slash perfect. So think like your wedding, your home, your style. Like it doesn't need to be trendy maybe is a better word. Like just do what you like and who cares? Like I remember getting caught up with wedding planning and like, well, actually not really. wedding planning was so stressful for both of us. Um, but I literally like planned our wedding in nine months and it was extremely stressful for many reasons.

But part of it is like, we also had a certain budget and it was like, this is just what we have to do to make this work. So I'm like, it's not going to be like this like, it's much ourself and like literally spray painted wine bottles as like vases as like one of the things. And I felt like a little bit so, um, self-conscious about it. And I was like,

Yeah. So much for Yeah.

who actually cares and they don't look bad and it's not about the vases. You know what I mean?

And I get it, because like you're stressing though because you're putting effort in because it's, it's a group.

Like you're inviting all these people to this party and you want it to be nice and perfect, but like it's going to be anyway because they care about you.

Yeah, you've put enough thought and effort into it to the point where it's gonna be great. Like that's how I feel like when my brother just got married and like I was there and I was seeing the stress and the things and I was like, there's no way, like in my head I was like, I'm not gonna say a word, I'm just gonna be as helpful as I can be. But in my head I was like, there's no way this doesn't turn out gorgeous.

I am in the room. It is beautiful. Like there is no way and like. You just, yeah, it's unavoidable. You're gonna feel the stress.

Yeah, feel the stress, it's just that reminder. Like, it doesn't need to be perfect or trendy or whatever. Like, people, that's in relation to weddings, but just life in general. Like, we're so used to seeing all these influencers and everything on Instagram. Like, they're perfect homes or, like, they're renovating and they're doing all these things. Or even, like, people in your own life sometimes. It's so easy to compare to, but, like, no. Like, this is just tuned back to you.

Like, what do you actually like? What do you actually... care about and value and put your like money energy into actually what you care. And then that's more you anyway. And then that is what makes you unique and you know.

No, completely, I think this is a fantastic, fantastic topic, especially, I feel very passionate all of a sudden. Especially with this, like, with these generations, I feel like I'm 400 years old. No, but like, obviously we are in the age of the kids these days. Who is she? I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know what I'm saying. But like, you're growing up seeing people online, you're seeing such curated, trendy content all the time. I, from my perspective, I have gotten into like, I absolutely think my house should look perfect at the end of the day.

Like I have caught myself like, oh shit, like my house doesn't look organized, which means I'm not, or my house is messy, which means I'm messy, or like my space doesn't make sense color-wise. And then I'm like, okay, that's so stupid. Like stop. had to like, I don't know, I went through a phase of like living here and finally having my own space to like. decorated and filled with furniture. And I was like, I need to show that I'm an adult, that I know what I'm doing, that I understand how to create a space that's pleasant to be in or not fully cluttered, all that stuff.

You can get very in your head very fast.

It's also very much like a skill in a way, for your home. Like people literally do that for a living. yeah, don't beat yourself up and even like, like style wise, if you like something, wear it. it's gonna, if you like it you're comfortable and you feel good in it and like you're excited about it, wear it. Put that picture up, put that, put those two colors together. Like if you like it, you're the one living in it, you're the one wearing it.

Yeah.

It literally doesn't matter. I keep saying like, but it doesn't matter what other people think. And it's so, so easy to get caught up into that and like thinking everything needs to be perfect, but it doesn't. yeah, just be yourself. That's what I learned in my twenties.

Hell yes. Your turn. My turn. Okay, my next one is don't overcommit your time. I learned that like, I would just say like yes to everything that I wanted to do. And like as simple as like our front group, just being like, who wants to do this and this? like, can you come, can you come to my birthday? And I'll be like, yeah, of course, no problem. And then all of a sudden I'm like, ⁓ actually I have like, uh, my mom's birthday and like my nephew's baptism and like I can't and then I don't show up and then or like I'll say, I don't know.

I found that I was making a bad habit of just like saying yes without understanding if I could actually make that commitment or not. And, um, time management, you have to like, you have to become an adult with your time. And I definitely was way more irresponsible in that way than I am now.

management

⁓ and I'm still, I've relaxed a little bit, but I really needed to learn that lesson. I was very much like saying yes to things and not following through. I guess maybe I'm saying follow through. ⁓ no, yeah.

Also, you want to be fully present with what you're at and you can't do that if you're overcommitted or you don't realize how long the drive is going to take from one place to the next one day.

Exactly. Or like be like, yeah, I can do two things. And then at some point being like, so sorry, I'm not going to make it. And then just feeling like an ass. Just be respectful of people's time.

Agree. Okay, my next one is, it's worth it to spend money on travel slash experiences. And something, Angie and I did a lot before we had Ria was travel and like nothing grand or extraordinary. But when you we look back on our 20s, like, ⁓ my gosh, we did so many things like we really, it didn't seem like it in the while we were living it sometimes. But as we're looking back, like we have so many cool memories, cool pictures, fun spot, we just, there's a lot to look back on.

And, you know, sure, would we have more money now if we didn't do all those things? Yeah, but it's nice to look back and be like, when we were here, like when we went there, remember that time. Then like it's worth it. That again is what makes life worth living. And the money comes and goes. and it's always gonna come back. Not always, but like it will always come back. And again, it's just worth it. That's what I learned.

I'd rather be a little poor in finances and a little richer in experiences.

I love that. I agree. think, yeah, experiences enrich your lives. And who knows what will happen when you travel that will reward you down the line. don't know.

You never know. I mean, yeah, don't go crazy, like within region, within reason. go broke going on a trip somewhere unless, you know, you really are banking on it and trust yourself. So don't take that advice from me. sort of. Exactly. There you go. Make something with it. But yeah, I think it's worth it. That's what I learned.

Yeah. That's. You started a travel vlog. I have on my list here, looking forward to the weekend is enough of a reason to live. And I think I was really reflecting on our early 20s of just like, you know, it really doesn't matter. For a time there, it didn't matter what I had to do as long as I had fun stuff to do as well. like sleep didn't matter as much as having fun and things like that.

Now, would I say that? I don't know. I don't think so.

Maybe because we lived it.

Yeah, yeah. But I think as a 20 year old or 22 year old or something like that, I think like we had so much fun celebrating like, like friends birthdays. Like that was just like, instead of going to friends weddings and baby showers, we were doing birthdays and like special celebrations and things like that. And they were like epic. Like I was living for like, we had our friend, my friend's Amy's 21st birthday. her and Caroline came to Boris Town, slept over, went out to the bars.

Remember we like, I wrote her a rap and we rapped it.

Wrapped it

It's so embarrassing. did. It's not. I would much rather have a video of me rapping to my friend than not. But I just lived for those moments. just, remember being so stressed about college and shit. But none of that existed when it was time to go out. It was the weekend and we were just always out doing things. think now-

Who? Like it's not. You had a- when it was the weekend and that was Yeah, I think maybe the lesson is like just being grossed in what you're doing. when you're like just. Yeah, be present.

Yeah, I was present. I was never more present than when I was looking forward to going to the bars. The nice drink in your hand, vodka Red Bulls. ⁓ Moscow Mule era. It was like we discovered that drink.

with a nice drink in your hand. Say that to me right now. Yeah, the Moscow. Moscow mules still slap. It's not like they were, like they're still so good.

They are. You can't deny it. mean, Gingerbread... Lizzie, we used to go to Mass and then go out to the bars. ⁓ my god, we did.

Not, they're delicious.

I love them. love them. They're so cute. sweet little babies. You're such good girls.

Sweet. My next one, I have two more. We could be quick with them though, is try new things, hot take. I, till later in my twenties, like I said, Andrew's the one who got me into volleyball. So much fun, never would have tried it otherwise. And then our friend Matt was like, come try this Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with me. And I was like, fuck it, I'm curious about it. So I just did it. And I did it for a couple months.

And like, I would have kept going, but I got pregnant.

I didn't learn this.

⁓ I probably wouldn't have done BJJ if I hadn't tried volleyball and I wouldn't have tried volleyball if Andrew didn't convince me to. I think I'm like, not as much, but definitely was a very shy person and I would not put myself like out there and try new things on my own. But do it. That is a lesson learned is put yourself out there a little bit, do something new. It's okay if it makes you uncomfortable.

You don't have to stick with it, but you're a better person for having tried it and done something uncomfortable.

That leads perfectly into my next one, is keep growing your community. I feel like

I'm not gonna take your advice on that, my community has to.

That's fair. That's fair. Well, it'll do it on its own. When you try new things, you do grow your community. Like you just said, you join volleyball and then you try it out. And I think like no new friends, no new friends. We have enough. ⁓

⁓ When you try to You're right. think it's because I took that advice, like I did grow my community in my 20s. Exactly. And now I'm in my 30s and I'm like, I'm done growing it.

No, and that's fair. I don't have a lot of space open. My communities, I have multiple communities and even that, you know, at least I have separation by distance. My Jersey community, my Puerto Rican community. I grew up with you. You were my first love and my first best friend. You'll be my last best friend. But I mean, not that we're friends. But I remember meeting Amy and being like, You know, Amy and I, had a slow burn, but when we became full-blown besties, I remember being like shocked that I could find another person to be so like, I want you in my life.

And I don't mean, I don't mean grow your community for the sake of it. Like I do think being a part of community is essential to living a full life. I don't think you'll be truly happy unless you know you have like a third space to go to. and feel a part of. But there are a few people who I have met here that I'm like, I want to know you till I'm dead. I find that to be my favorite thing in life.

Like I am always, I like people so much. I've, meet a lot of people who don't like people and that's fun. I like that. I think that's a fun character trait to not like people sometimes, but I cannot claim it.

You're in my just forever.

I really, really, really like people. Couldn't me. Couldn't be me because I keep meeting people who I think are just so funny. And if there's a funny person out there, put them in front of me. I need to know them. I just want to laugh so much. And I just find that like, I just love people. And I feel like even when you know, like, obviously we're all so tired of being so socially like,

It can't ⁓ I love that.

you know, called upon. I don't know. We need to, we have our social obligations. But every once in a while, you're going to have a conversation with someone that you don't know very well, but you randomly connect with. And you're going to randomly have like a 30 minute conversation that completely rejuvenates something in you.

Yes, yeah. I've, yeah, that you're so right.

And it happens to me every three years and it like, it's magical.

There is something about like that one time thing or whether you're gonna like see them again or whatever. But when you do have that connection with someone and you're able to, you're just having a conversation and you're like riffing off, like there is something magical.

You have to be open to- where it's just like falling in love.

Write that down!

Write that down. I just, yeah. You gotta be open to it.

You that yeah, it's true. Those are moments that like are magical falling in love Can't plan it and they only happen if you're putting yourself out there and growing your community you're yeah, I see it Yeah, I put this is something that I tell myself a lot currently and Still try to live by but time is gonna pass anyway You may as well let it pass trying something doing something that

You can't plan it. It's kids ⁓

you want to be doing. Everyone looks back and is like, ⁓ my gosh, how is it already March 29th? How are we already basically four months into the new year? How is Rio already four months old? Time just passes day by day. So you might as well carve out some time in the days to do the things that you want to be doing so that you can look back and...

100%.

and be like, ⁓ I have come, like I've grown, I've come somewhere. I think that's from Atomic Havocs actually, you talked about that. I've whole concept, but. There's lots of people who have goals of ⁓ losing body fat in the gym, because again, I'm a personal trainer. It's like the time is gonna pass. You don't have to be perfect, but like small little things every day are gonna accumulate and you look back and you'll see some progress.

Yeah.

The time is going to pass. Let it pass doing what you want to be doing. Love it. And that wraps up things we learned in our 20s.

we learned in our 20s. applause, which I can do. It's a feature.

⁓ nice. That was good. I liked your list a lot.

I like your list a lot. at us. Thanks. I know. Look at us. Couple girls with some lists.

Hopefully somebody somewhere got something good out of that.

And if not, I hope they like our personalities.

If not, I liked your list and I got something good out of it. All right. Well, that's it. See you guys next time.

Yay! This has been Catching Up with Liz and Evy.