Episode 3: Liz shares her birth story

Evelyn Peregrin: Hey! Hey! And we're recording? Yes, we're recording. We're recording! We're official, we're live! We got at least two cameras each to look at too. It's overwhelming. I'm proud of us, honestly. If you could see the flip side of this setup. Seriously. pretty good. It is pretty good. Also, you get to see the other side of the setup, which also I think is pretty good. I think we've done well. I think we've done well. think we've done as well as we could.

For our first ever in person recording. Ever messing around with any of this equipment and like for some reason, there's no way to plug in my laptop charger in this room to the wall. I've got extension cords, multiple cords. We're also, I forgot to bring the cord to connect my microphone. to my computer so we're going like, oh, you got a CC, I got a CB. Well, if you have a CB, I can use your CC because I need a CC because I don't have a C, I don't have a B in my computer.

Anyway. And then she goes, I can answer your question. And she goes, I don't know. She's like, I'm just kidding. I don't know what you're talking about. It's like that trash. That's That's fair. But here we are. I'm very proud of us. There was at least, there's at least an hour of setup at least. like, But I feel like that's awesome. Yeah. And like no mic stands. We've got our mics though. Of course. Got our mics.

And we're in one of my, we're in my like childhood bedroom. I like slept in here with my two oldest sisters. There's a bunk bed behind, well in front of us. That's where you are. out. Lucky you. you. But this room, I used to sleep in with my two older sisters and I was like a baby in like a trundle bed right here. And then I moved into a room next door and then I moved back in this room and then I moved downstairs.

And the bunk bed moved with you into the other room. This is correct. Yeah. And then back again. Yeah. It's right. Yeah. So we're in my childhood home. Yeah. Thanks for driving to me. We thought I thought I was going to lose this Liz thought she was coming here the whole time. And then every message made she's like, okay, so when I come to you, I was like, whole frame, but I was like, it's definitely easier if I come to you.

Which I totally appreciate. And at first I was thinking it would just be like way easier on you. And then I thought about it and I was like, well then the baby's there and like, I want to see Rio, but. Of course. Yeah. Like Rio's not conducive to this. No, no, totally. And then there's nothing here. This house is just like empty most of the day. So I'm like, you know what? This makes a lot more sense if we're trying to record audio, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, thanks for coming to me. I'm glad we're here. I've been looking forward to this. Me too. Tell me about your week, It was a busy week. I worked Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday morning, Wednesday night. Not Thursday at all and obviously not today. But normally I only work in person Tuesday and Wednesday nights. So was a lot. There was a lot of people watching Rio and schedule changes and all this stuff. But overall it was good.

I feel like it went as smooth as it could. And we actually were in for New Jersey people were in Morristown last night. I a nice birthday dinner for my friend Emily. It was so nice. As we were there, was like, ⁓ my gosh, I haven't seen everyone together in so long. And we hang out more often, I think. Where'd you go in Morristown? 1776. I don't think I've ever been there. I've been there once, like to like the golf simulator part.

It's so Marissa. Morristown is so 1776 coded. They love George Washington. George Amortha. Like George Amortha. Still never been there either. Shout out to Vinnie. feel like. I think it's different now. It's not George Amorthus anymore. Is it 1776? No, it's NOM. NOM? As in Viet? No. The whole appeal to for me when they opened was they do a margarita flight. ⁓ shit. Okay. Get me into NOM. Okay, how ⁓ are we spelling NOM? You can't not hear it.

Yeah, back in NOM. I haven't been to NOM since NOM, haven't been to NOM since 1776. See, if we to do this in person weekly, I'd like... The views! Through the word... through the... through the... through the... Yes. Um, okay! No, but really, N-A-M or N-O-M, I need to know. N-O-M. Alright. No, no, no. literally. Okay. I'm picking up. I'm picking up. I'm like 90 % sure that is what it's called. We were supposed to go for Steph's birthday when you were COVID.

But COVID. They made it through COVID. No. They opened maybe right after. Georgia Martha didn't make it through COVID. Clearly. then not. Obviously not. Clearly. No. No more Georgia Martha. Shout out more San Dier Jersey. But you know what, Georgia Martha fell, but 1776 rose. Yep. No, it's in, it's by like the, ⁓ high, like where the movie theater is. It's by there. Got it. So like you can like park in that garage and then. That's nice.

Go into We love parking. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it was nice. It good. Got it. It was a good spot. I'm assuming American cuisine. Yeah, like a kale-ish. I gotta get my grape juice. But yeah, was good. And then they have like a whole separate part where it's like a golf stimulator and then you can order food there and do like groups. Stimulator? Stimulator? Whatever was fun. Simulate your golf game. Whatever floats your boat. don't... Yeah, some extra stimulation.

However, can get it. Particularly as it relates to golf. know what golf isn't that stimulating to be fair. Anyway, how was your week? You're here in New Jersey. I'm here in New Jersey. My week was good. I definitely like had not no 70 76 for me. No, nothing like it. I had a busy weekend and it was like a full weekend where like You're not thinking about the future, you know what mean? So like I came off that weekend into Monday and I was like, shit, I have to get on a plane on Wednesday night?

Where am I? What does that even mean? Like it doesn't even compute. Yeah. So busy weekend because it was Easter and so, ⁓ my gosh, had so much fun on Easter. So like Connor randomly was like, ⁓ He was like, can we have people over for like, I'm going to make like pancakes and egg bakes and stuff and just like, I want to do an Easter egg hunt for Easter. And I was like, sure, maybe. Did he put weed in the?

Wow. Edibles? in the Easter eggs? No. Missed opportunity. Missed opportunity. If only you were there. only. Last year my birthday was on Easter and I was in Puerto Rico. That's true. But I was pregnant. Yes. My birthday is also 420. Please. And it's coming up. Yeah. Anyway, we'll go back to Easter Egg Cup. My present is your present. So we, so I was like, yeah, let's do Easter Egg Cup, sure. Like super last minute, like a two day notice kind of thing.

Like who would want to come hang out? Send out a few texts. People were like, yeah. So we had like, I don't know, 12 to 15 people come through. And we kind of made like three egg bakes. was just like, he was. Slaven away in the kitchen for many hours and just like shirtless and like dripping sweat to the point where I'm like And I'm like he didn't want to like make it so it was ready when people came like he wanted it like the egg break Yes, but like pancakes.

He's like make that hot fresh. I'm like, okay sure. I'm here support I was on cleaning and setup duty Connor was good as you are when you don't cook Yeah, and like I was like you and my kitchen is so small. You don't want two people in that kitchen. It's ridiculous anyway I'm doing my thing, Connor's doing his, and at some point people start coming in and I'm like, Connor's just gonna be shirtless and sweating in the kitchen and like, that's obviously fine.

It's our house, our rules. But that's your chef. Honestly though, if I'm okay and I see Connor sweating over a pile of pancakes, I'm like, those are either dank ass pancakes, like so good, or I'm only eating that epic. Also did Connor make those too? at what point? Yes. That would be running through my head. I mean like most all of our friends in Puerto Rico know Connor doesn't wear shirts. Yeah. So that's a thing. And it was hot in the kitchen and the AC was not on.

That's what I mean. It's like if it's like hot, it'll go okay. Like you some. It's 80. It's by 10 a.m. every day. You know what mean? Yeah. The point is it was great. And also I was like there's there's my man. My man B. looking cute and sexy and sweaty. that's great. And that's hot. No, but we had so much fun. It was, I was so happy that he wanted to do that because the food was awesome.

Egg bakes were fucking on point. Our friend brought challah bread randomly. was like, yeah. Braided? Not that old? I don't think all challah bread has to I don't know, was, you know, your hosting. I was running around like frenzy. Anyway. There was lots of food, delicious. had, got a lot of candy and everyone was like, ⁓ my God, Easter candy. And it was cute. we did no jelly beans. No, I know it was the one thing I did wrong.

That's okay. Yeah. But it was fine. And like, honestly, gummy candy in me lately, I got to take a break. That red dye 40 makes it look crazy. Well, know, those nerd clusters. ⁓ God. Don't go and start. They're so freaking good. They're too good. They're too good. Like I can be illegal. can't get high and might become illegal. I think that's my was all about. god. my god. Yeah. Sorry. ⁓ So Trump. ⁓ So we had really fun.

And then there was like a couple of phases to this Easter celebration where food, great people came over and then one contingent left and it was like 10 people hanging out and then My friend Mishka pulled out some games and we played games. Oh, that's so played a super fun game. I think it's called hipster. Anyway, super fun. And then a few friends stayed and we played games for like four hours. That's pretty fast. In my garage, you know what mean?

The little... What's it called? The marcasina. Yes. And that's kind of always been my dream. It's just to hang out and play games. everyone chill and no one check a watch. the sunsets and like you have some drinks and like just really, really nice, like so familiar. That's how it was growing up. You know, like you're like, just a family party at my house. Yeah. And like, don't feel pressured to stay, but don't feel pressured to leave.

Like just hang out, do whatever is good for you. I'll be here until you're gone. It also means everyone's having a good time when they stay late and are relaxed. like it's the ultimate car. It really is. Yeah. You provided that space for everybody. Pancakes. Pancakes. then, oh my God, it was so cute because Connor, like around hour one of the game, he went inside. He passed it on the couch for three hours. Wow. Because we did have people over from like 11 a.m.

to like 7 p.m. Okay. And around like two, I think he he went to bed and he like put on the TV and like fell asleep. But then he woke up and he made his dinner. Oh, what'd make? He made like a stir-fry. Like we had like a ready to go Sam's Club like rice thing that he just heated up, but then cooked chicken and added it to it. Nice. And Connor's just the best. Shout out Connor.

Connor's a great cook, He's a great host. He's all about that too. He's all about like, no one needs to which is so nice. Yeah. I mean like, reason, but I think those are the best hosts, the people who like genuinely are, would want you to be there and then also. provide like food and everything. like they don't want you to leave. And it's totally not like, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. like, know, like they want to be that space for you.

It's nice. That is like, it's a skill to be able to like kind of not that I have that skill yet, but like to be able to create that environment and also to like, like, I don't feel to that I want a lot of people to bring a lot of stuff like, yeah, like Hey, need, can someone bring a bread? Can someone bring a part? a salad. Wine. But I don't like, I don't need you to bring, not everyone needs to bring a side.

Not everyone. Right. I want you to come over and not bring anything too. Like, I mean, that's totally okay. Like something, bring something that maybe isn't needed that would add. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah. Some people brought champagne. We did mimosas. ⁓ cute. And I was like, awesome. Good call. Yeah. Awesome. thought to I had some too, but I was like, you know what? We do need more. Mimosas, you always need more. than you think. And you're correct, because we did get through like six bottles of it.

Yeah, right. I was like, all right. But then again, didn't want to assume everyone was going to drink these days. You know, you really do got to prepare for both. Obviously. Right. But yeah, but sometimes not so obvious, actually. Yeah, actually. Anyway, that was my Easter. And then Monday morning, I was like, huh? What? Because, you know, I didn't like spare a thought. I'm like, What's the word? Like not work mode. You're just like so in the moment.

So all of a sudden you're like, oh my God, real life. It's slaps you in the face. 100%. I was like, I don't even remember how the egg bake leftovers got in the fridge before 7 PM, but they did. And that was my friend actually shout out to Savannah. I know you did that, but I did not have thought of my head. I was like, why would they go in the fridge? It's 1130. She's like, it's 130.

I'm like, okay. I'm just trying to sure everyone's got a good vibe. How would I know about the egg bake or the time? And this is why hosting is hard too. You're present and also thinking about the food. It's a fun challenge, I think. That was me. And then I did get on a plane. I did do laundry at 8 p.m. on Wednesday night when my flight was at midnight. And I was like, I gotta get some undies.

You know what mean? Gotta do that load. And I took them out of the dryer, started in my suitcase, set the suitcase up, got in the car, got my flight. I know, it was like, oh my God, the podcast make. You are used to that flight though. You run the know exactly what's happening. I was already there too early. know what I mean? Right, right, right. What can I do? I need some shirt. Literally. I didn't, and it was actually super, super chill this time around because Connor was staying home.

So I didn't have to clean. didn't have to like prepare the house for like the cat sitter. Yeah. All that kind of stuff. Like the last minute chores were non-existent, which is so nice and much easier. So I'm just getting on a plane and taking care of business. Is he the best? Um, yeah. And then I, then I came here and then I landed at a 3 47 AM on Thursday morning. Uh, got my Uber $60.

That's crazy. Which like hurt me. And I was like, gonna pull that move where you're like, cancel it and like wait for like wait 20 minutes and it's gonna go down at least $15 and I was like is it worth the $15? No. Because it's 3 40 in the morning. Yeah. So we got I got showered and in bed by 5am. Couldn't fall asleep. Did fall asleep. Woke up at noon. And I was like oh that's a little too late.

I'm glad you got your sleep. glad I got my sleep. That's me. That's that that leads us to today where today's topic is going to be Liz's experience giving birth. Rio's birth story. Rio's birth story. Which why do you want to talk about? Is it Rio's birth story or is it my experience giving birth? It's both. Right. I did say I was like, my mom was like, what are you guys going to talk about? And I was like, we're doing Liz's birth story.

And she was like, I was like Rio's birth story. Come on Arlene, you know what I'm talking about. Okay, I'll start by saying I like, I loved listening to birth stories. love watching birth vlogs. I don't know something about I always have. It's just interesting. You always have. I always have. They are interesting. I feel like what are you looking for when someone tells a birth story? Like what's what draws you to them? What do you like, you know?

That's a good question. I think it is just such a unique experience across the board. And when you either listen to someone talk about it or if you're actually watching a birth vlog, you see someone go like, they start off and they're like talking to the camera and like, ⁓ my gosh, exciting birth vlog. Then they're having contractions, but they're still talking to the camera. Then they get to the point where it's like, there's no other focus.

Like the camera's there because somebody else has set it up and is recording. Yeah. and they're just like in their own head. Like it's just like so interesting to see like someone go through emotions and then it's just a crazy experience that only women go through. So part of it like watching it is like you like want to relate to it a little bit but also they're all so unique. I love that. Yeah that makes a lot of fun.

So it's just so intriguing. always. And I do always want to know people's experience, especially as like our friends start to give birth. So many of our friends have. ⁓ Not me yet. But I always want to know. But like, I also want to give them time and space to recover and like, but and then then sometimes you don't have that conversation. So I'm always like, yeah, whatever, whatever thoughts, what was your experience? And you always want the best for yourself.

people, you know, talk about having a birth plan, but Also, like having birth plan, but knowingly it might not go exactly to plan because you literally just never know. so obviously you always want it to be the most positive, but I will say the whole story in general was not the most positive experience for me. Obviously like the best because you have your baby by the end of it. like, but like getting there is not what I envisioned.

did you hope for? What was your envision as you were going through your pregnancy and things like that? So I just wanted like positive. Ideally, I was going to leave her at home for as long as possible and then go to the hospital and potentially get the epidural, potentially not, depending on how I was doing and how I was dealing with contractions. always said it would be cool to try to not have an epidural. Um, but only if, like, if I didn't have to get induced, because if you get induced, contractions are apparently significantly more painful.

Or just more, I don't want to say painful, like significantly more intense right away. Um, and then you're having those more intense contractions for longer. And also if I was like really tired or if it was like the middle of the night, an epidural can sometimes like just help you relax. So it might help you progress. It might help you. like sleep and if your body is relaxed and you're not sleep deprived, you should ideally ⁓ dilate better.

So anyway, those things, was like, it would be cool to try, but like also you never really know. if I like that, but it was an amazing thing that I would really like to use if I need it. Why, why do we need to suffer? Exactly. You're already going to be in pain and uncomfortable and in going through literal labor. Yeah, exactly. So like, if things aren't going like, exactly smooth, or if I need it, I would like to get it.

Yeah. So yeah, what happened was he was a week late. And so I had to get induced. But when I and the induction was scheduled for 11pm, which is just very late. And then of course, an induction, you call the hospital. And they basically are like, we'll call you back when we're ready for you. So we didn't get a call back till like midnight, think, or a little after midnight. So we were still at home. And I was like starting to have some cramps here and there.

Something's happening. Like maybe, but I felt like that a little bit like the end of the day before. So I don't know. Also, I've never given birth before. I don't really know what it should be feeling like. People say like, you feel crampy at first? Like I was. but it wasn't anything like consistent or super intense. yeah, the hospital calls us back. So this is like a little after midnight, I think on Saturday night. So we go to the hospital and then we, you know, get checked in and whatever by like one, like 15 in the morning was when I first got checked and I was at three centimeters dilated.

This was. Before anything. Before any, ⁓ like interventions to get an induction started. Just I was at three centimeters and I was having contractions. I hooked me up to the monitor and I was, and so it was clarified. Like I was like, ⁓ what I'm feeling is a contraction. She's like, yeah, you can see it. was like, okay, cool, cool, cool. Interesting. But it totally obvious. Wasn't cause it just feels like cramping, but like you kind of feel some of that leading up.

wasn't intense. Yeah, exactly. I had a feeling, but like, wasn't sure. Sure. ⁓ Yeah, so I think around like three in the morning, and then they're okay, try to get some rest. You're like, great, cool. So comfortable here. So comfortable here. Exactly. Meanwhile, you're like kind of have adrenaline because right, because you're about to give birth for the first time. That's a big deal. Yeah, exactly. And if you know anything about birth, like adrenaline is what you don't want because that can delay the process ⁓ of you dilating.

You want to be as relaxed as possible and you want oxytocin to rule. So general rule of thumb from what I've learned. ⁓ Anyway, so yeah, whatever. were chilling, trying to relax, like taking pictures, chatting with, I don't know. I think I was like messaging my sisters and around. Also, I wasn't sure when they were going to start the intervention. So it's like, I try to go to sleep or not? Like, whatever. And then at three, they came in and gave me pitocin, which essentially is like a synthetic form of oxytocin, which is what ramps up your contractions.

So as soon as I got that, I was like, oh, oh, I feel these are intense. Like this is, this is painful. And also TMI really, whenever I'm not on a consistent sleep schedule, my stomach gets a little messed up. So I was like, Andrew got into the bathroom and like having contractions and also low key diarrhea, like not fun. I have diarrhea when I have a bad day. You're giving birth. Yeah. then also, like I didn't have wireless monitoring.

So you had to unplug things. like the nurse sometimes comes in and it's like, oh, it's just unplugged during the bathroom. But I'm like, just like, I'm like, just give it a minute. You don't have to come in right now. So Andrew's like holding all of these wires as I'm on the toilet. And I'm like, all right. But once that happened, like I felt much better, which was good because I'm like my stomach was only hurting from contractions, not like having to poop like hurting.

So that was nice. Uh, but then, yeah, the contractions were just like intense. And again, it was so late in the night slash early in the morning. I haven't slept. So just tired. Um, And I'm trying to think what happened next. Oh yeah, I threw up because again, I think I was overtired and just like, was painful, but it was just so intense all at once. Like I think without, I think without any interventions, any pitocin, here contractions like ramp up to that point versus I was having like, oh, very like mild feeling to all of a sudden super intense.

So like my body was like, ah. vomit like ⁓ yeah so after that was like ⁓ can we get the epidural like i could use a break and some relaxation so i think i was at about five centimeters yeah i was at five centimeters got the epidural which was so nice like let me tell you let me tell you which was so it worked like that like you just go from like every few minutes feeling this like intense surge like all through like your stomach, your butt, like your hips almost to like, okay, now I can like relax.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I was like, okay, let me also, and I was reading back the messages to my sisters. just like was obviously so tired. Yeah. So exhausted. Oh my gosh. so I thought, okay, maybe that girl will like help me sleep. Unfortunately it didn't like, I maybe got like a 20 minute nap in. So you are pulling it all later. Um, But anyway, with that epidural and then I was dilating really well. It was going very quickly.

then at one point, I want to say at 8 a.m., I might have been maybe six or seven centimeters dilated. Rio's heart rate was dropping during contractions. So there was a period where they took me off Pitocin because I was contracting on my own. So they took me off Pitocin. heart rate stabilized, put me back on, was good for a little bit, started to drop again during contractions, me back off, then I was constantly flipping positions, like side to side.

And there was like a 10 minute stretch where his heart rate dropped during a contraction, but then it stayed low, it didn't come back up between contractions. So like so many people rushed in and they put oxygen on me and they're like coaching me through moving. But also when you have epidural, you don't... can't feel your legs. So like it's difficult to move. ⁓ my gosh. You have people helping you. You're in a gown, like your butt's exposed and you're adjusting like with the pillows.

literally I was just laying there. vulnerable. Like mask on, just like breathing. And like I personally didn't feel like that anxious. I don't know. You had a lot in you. A hundred percent. going on. Yes. Yeah. But like I always knew he was okay. Yeah. in a weird way. Yeah. Even though like he wasn't his heart rate was dropping. help but the help was there. I knew everything was going to be okay. Like something deep inside me just needed that.

So I didn't have that much anxiety but it was like you know frantic for a second. There's like a lot of people in there and they're realizing how serious the situation is but also trying not to freak you out but you know that that's how they're talking to you as if they're trying not to freak you out. Everyone knows, no one's saying it. Exactly. And that's probably for the best. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, finally his heart rate did stabilize again.

⁓ They had broken my water at some point to speed things up. And I think after they broke my water, it put just like a little bit more pressure on him. And they think maybe the umbilical cord is wrapped around something and that's why his heart rate was dropping. So anyway, it stabilized and then again, just switched positions and there was no more... frantic moments like that. But like his heart rate did dip a few times during contractions.

And you can see his heart rate and your heart rate and your contractions on the monitor. So I'm watching it and I'm like breathing through it, trying to like maybe, okay, maybe if I like kind of like hold my one hip here, breathe this certain way, like it kind of like helps him. So again, definitely not relaxing at all. Finally, I got to nine centimeters dilated and He was low, but not like extremely low. Like they say, if you start feeling like pressure, let us know because then we can start like practice pushing.

And I would feel some pressure, but it would go away. And then I would feel some that wasn't consistent pressure where I was like, we're ready. Yeah. So the birth canal. Exactly. Exactly. Um, so after an hour, I was at nine centimeters. for literally an hour. The nurse was in there, we're about to switch positions again and all of sudden my doctor comes in and she's like, all right, nothing's changed for an hour, let's go meet your baby, urgency section.

Yeah, it was just like that. Like dad, pack up the stuff. And then like, let's get this thing going. Like we need to do this In that moment, do you have any like, wait, can you explain this more? like, wait, why? should, like, is there any like moment of like hesitation or you're like, okay, doctor says, let's go. I think leading up to that, point for me. was no, because I knew exactly what the situation was.

they were very good. you were being communicated with. I was being communicated with the whole time. It was very clear to both of us like what was going on. And again, like it was just like an hour has gone by and nothing has changed. As in probably nothing will change. But if we keep trying, like it's dangerous to keep trying this essentially. Like we're at that point. So yeah, urgency section and my biggest, well not my biggest fear, but like I, I always say my biggest thing is I don't want to be like a really hard and long labor and then pushing for a while and then have to have a C-section.

Yeah. And pay for this twice. Exactly. Exactly. So all in all, I'm grateful that I didn't get to the point where I had to try pushing because I also was envisioning like, you know, during that time. Like within that hour I kept saying like, I hope I don't get to pushing and his heart rate is still dropping while I push. Yeah. Right. Because I don't know, that's more stressful to me. Right. It's like a bigger thing.

Then we got to figure it out from that angle. Exactly. But also the other side of me was the one thing I was looking forward to about labor and birth was the pushing process. I feel like I've done a lot. No, I feel like I have. I had done a lot of like pelvic floor work and breath work. And you were prepared. was, yeah. And I was like mentally ready for that aspect. Yes. And like I was training, but also doing mobility exercises and just like really like every time I would do core workouts or work, you know, using my core, whatever, I would really focus on breathing and like, okay, like where.

what muscles are aware and how does it feel to like kind of like contract, like not contract down, but like to push, to use these muscles, whatever. You have a lot of experience in knowing your body and training your body. I definitely have a lot of body awareness. That's one thing I was really looking forward to. And that was hard to get to nine centimeters and to like, okay. It's almost heartbreaking. It was hard. Yeah. I didn't process it right then and there, but like I knew it.

I've like kind of put it in the back of my mind. It's like, We're gonna have to deal with this later. Yeah, exactly. No, I'm not been in that position, but like I totally get what you're saying. yeah, I would also be like that's like the culmination. Yes, exactly. And that's where you're going to be infected down the line. Maybe you rip, maybe you tear, That's where it all that's where the relief comes to. Yeah, exactly.

And also I was really, really looking forward to it. I wanted to like video this part and I was really looking forward to pushing out like laying him on my chest and just like meeting him and having the three of us. Like I was really looking forward to that aspect as well. Yes, for sure. So yeah, in the back of my mind I was like, okay, like process that later because we're about to head into major surgery.

And also like this is what's best. The priorities are there. Yeah. Correct. Like this is what needed to happen. So yeah, like Andrew stayed in the room and like packed up our stuff. They wheeled me to the OR, OR? Operating room? Yeah. And then, you know, we're going to be ready. They had to... I had the epidural already. So it was, I'm not sure exactly what medication I was on, but I think they just like reupped it.

The epidural or plug something like a different... The epidural is basically a shot in your back. It's not the medication you're on. So don't know if they switched it, whatever. Right. But like, make sure I was good there. And then... had the thing set up and it was like kind of funny because the doctors are a little sassy in there. The one, uh, yeah, exactly. Like the resident versus the attending and the one was like, well, if you had been here on time, you wouldn't know that I wanted it done this way.

And like, just, was like, there was like some, not in like a sassy way, but just in like, this is, I'm teaching you right now. It had to with you. It had nothing to with me. It was just me observing little show. That's fun. little show. That's hilarious. I can see how other people maybe it would be like, excuse me, you're talking about me. My ass is out. Literally. Maybe we talk about this later. For me, I'm like, this is interesting.

I'm getting to see- It's a reality show. It's a reality. I'm getting to see how doctors are taught and they need to be taught, I guess, in this very direct way because- Yeah. There's a human being, two right now that we gotta go take care of. Exactly. And it's just funny to be like on the outside of that, but also not. Like was interesting. And then the anesthesiologist was funny too. He was like, what is taking so long?

Why is everybody that are not, meanwhile, my nurse kept checking, she's the sweetest person. She kept checking with me like, are you good? Like, we okay? Cause there was, you know, like conversation going on around me. Yeah. But I was like, thanks. But yeah, like I'm good. I was like, you good? Like, you're getting some comments. everyone should be doing their jobs. Exactly. like that's what's happening. Exactly. Anyway, C-section itself. So again, if you are pregnant or you only want to hear like positive first stories, you don't want to have a C-section.

want to like maybe skip this part. Don't listen to it if you don't want to invite this in. If you have had a C-section. Yeah, trigger warning. Yeah, a little bit of a trigger warning here and not like But everything went very smoothly. Rio is good. Rio is good. The baby is good. The whole operation went extremely smooth. I was having not I it was all internal for me. How do we even explain this? So they're doing the operation.

Andrew comes in eventually. He's like wearing his whole thing. He's looking at me like, oh my God, like, this is crazy. You good. I'm like, I don't know. Like I'm like processing so many things at once now and I'm so tired. Also, I was laboring for however many hours, which honestly was a pretty short and relatively easy labor. Okay. Even though I didn't, you know, And what does that mean? It's relatively short. How long? So from when I got to the hospital, it was like 1 20 in the morning and I was three centimeters dilated already.

And then at 3 a.m. I started Pitocin. I think around 5 a.m. I got the epidural and I was at five centimeters. And then by the time we actually went into the operating room was around like 2 30 p.m. on Sunday. Okay. So like a little over 12 hours from getting to the hospital. That's not too bad. But from having like Pitocin start at three and then he was actually born at three twenty. Like that's 12 hours from the Pitocin starting today.

So like I feel like that's relatively short. it was Not bad, laboring, especially after the epidural. really was not bad. I'm glad. Yes, exactly. That part was good. ⁓ Anyway, operating room. I'm lying on the table. I had been laboring for nine hours, so I had the labor shakes. If you don't know, I think it's your body is just kind of full of adrenaline. And then also whenever something... I was going into shock, I would feel.

Almost. Whenever something like this happens, like my body is like... has lot like an adrenaline surge, I always shake. So like if I'm nervous about something like my leg will shake or my voice will shake or my whole body like depending on how intense it is, my whole body will shake. So I definitely already am prone to that. So I'm on the table, my whole body is like shaking, my arms are like outstretched like this, shaking.

The anesthesiologist is making a joke because. like Gloria Estefan is singing whatever that song is. on and it's operating him? He's like, who put this playlist on? Yeah, it was crazy. ⁓ Okay. Yeah. Any longer. And I was like, okay, this is, but I was also appreciating the irony of it in the moments. Yeah. So yeah, for reference though, a C-section, it's like, they're like, okay, you're going to feel some tugging. And like, they like check to make sure you're numb.

And it's like, okay, can you feel anything? I'm like, no, okay, you're going to feel some tugging, like cool, blah, blah, blah. Like 10 minutes later, like, okay, baby's out. I'm like, what the hell? Like they go, first of all, he's peeing, mama. I'm like, what is going on? You're like, I have a child and he's peeing? Exactly. Meanwhile, like the tarp is up. You can't see him. I'm like, low key fighting an anxiety attack right now because I'm like trying to breathe through it.

You're in surgery. I'm in surgery. I'm awake in surgery. Jesus. And I'm. Also laying flat and I don't know if it was how I was laying or something, but there was so much pressure on my back and like you can't move. You're stuck in that position. So just feeling that it's almost like a claustrophobic feeling. Like I'm stuck and I cannot move and I desperately need to just adjust my position. But you know you can't. But you can't.

They're cutting you. They're cutting you. Also your legs are extremely heavy because like they're just completely numb. Yeah. ⁓ my God. I, yeah, I'm like fighting the anxiety of that. Just trying to breathe through it. Then like he's being born. So I'm also like, ⁓ my God, like my baby is being born except trying to be moment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah ⁓ the one of the nurses came over and I just remember Angela coming and was like, he's here baby.

And I was like, I know, but I can't be like, you know what mean? I know. And I was like trying to like be like present again and like process. And then the nurse is like, here he is, holds him up to you. And like, it's so sweet, but I wish I could like just separate the two things, you know? Yeah. But then she's like holding him to my cheek. And like I had to like, cause again, of strapped down.

So I have to like turn my head at such an awkward angle and she's like, let's get some pictures. And all I wanted to do was like, take them away so that I can have this moment later because I really want to have this moment. But now is not the time because I'm fighting an anxiety attack. You know, when I just want to like close my eyes and breathe through it and like, kind of like, need a minute to take my minds out of this place, but I can't because my child is being born right here.

So I'm also trying to not have this first moment be so negative. Whoa. You know, was so crazy. It was so crazy. So anyway, yeah, I'm like smiling for the pictures. They're holding him next to me. And like it was sweet. It was. like holding his cheek next to me like, it's objectively. I just wish like I wanted to be in a different physical state for it, you know, and mental state. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So anyway, that was like for a few minutes.

Then they took him to the nursery and Andrew went with him. ⁓ And then, so that was all like 20 minutes, maybe 25. Like it was fast. So then I'm thinking like, great, we're almost done. Get me upright baby, I'm ready to like switch. No, it took like another maybe 30, 40 minutes for them to like. everything back inside you, stitch you up, da da da. So like they're wrapping up. The amount of times I asked how much longer was a lot.

I was like, how much longer? Okay, but like how much longer? Yeah. Because I thought like maybe 15 minutes left. I'm like, it was just 15 minutes. 15 minutes already went by. Like I am struggling. Literally. Meanwhile, they're like ordering lunch together. Like, oh, I want this. Holy fuck. Like obviously. Again. They have to live their lives. It gives you something else to think about. So I'm like, Good to have like normal and real conversation so I can focus on that.

Right. Anyway, so I was crazy. Then finally they stitched me up and like they transfer you onto the different bed, like a hospital bed. Yeah. And then I'm like, can you like sit me up? And they're like, do you want to sit up? I was like, yes, please. Like all. And they were like, good. I was like, no higher. Like don't like sit me all the way up, please. Because I just, again, the pressure, the pressure on my back, like I needed to sit up.

you say, were you like talking about that pressure on your back? Or no. Yeah. And the anesthesiologist was like, do I'm going to like numby more? And I was like, no. But like, will that take away this pain? Exactly. Like I was like, I don't think I'll not feel that even if I'm more numb, you know? So yeah, it was. And again, like the whole operation was so smooth. My scar is like, like everyone is saying, oh, that's like.

Great scar. Yeah, exactly. Like my follow ups are like, oh, she did such a good job. Even when they were stitching me up the Resident right is that like my doctor had the attending to it. She's like, you did a really good job. I'm like, so I'm like hearing that one. Okay. Well, that's good It's like everything about the whole operation was smooth. It was just I mean, can't just associate Yeah, and also just like the mental Battle is there like yeah and also like and I keep thinking like if I do have another kid and have another c-section like all know what to expect.

And I'm sure it'll be different. Also, what was I going to say? The hardest part was just being so, so sleep deprived and having to go through the labor. I can mentally prepare much better if I'm in that experience again ever. I mean, yeah, what an thing to go through and there's no way to get experience on that. There's no way to prepare more than you did. And I think you see any birth story I watched about having a c-section.

No one talked about what it was like being in the room and being on the table and then meeting your son. And also people who have planned C-sections, I think it's so different because you show up, you get your medicine, thing. Within an hour and a half, you're done. And you're prepared for that and you're prepared for that and you're not laboring You're not on like pitocin and drugs beforehand that cause the labor shake. So it's it's just so different So yeah, that was definitely tough and then afterwards It's just a lot to process regardless of like how well you're trying like obviously You have to take all that in as it's happening like and it's just adding layers to it Yeah, you're taking as it's happening and also being like I'm not gonna fully

process this here right now, because I'm gonna completely break down. You're self-aware about that. being like, you know you're exhausting. I'm storing it to process later. Right. But even trying to do that is exhausting. You know what mean? You're compartmentalizing as you go. You know you're doing that. You know you're going through, like your body is going through something traumatic. Like even though you know why, it's still like... That's for later. Got to talk about and think about other.

There's like probably 15 things you're stating for later and just trying to hold all that in. And also you're just like, I'm in immediate discomfort and pain. Yeah. Got to also, I would love to address that one now because that seems like that could But also if I dress that one now, I'm going to go crazy. So let me also not But but you're like, sit me up. ⁓ But part of it too is like, if I think about how much this sucks right now, it actually feels better in a way.

⁓ which is weird. That is weird. Yeah. It was strange. So like, you're like, okay, I can just like focus on like this pain versus like the needing to move pain. It was, was such a crazy thing. Anyway, then they like wheel me out to a triage room. Our stuff is there because apparently someone had, I don't know, Andrew put it there before he went into the OR to meet me there. So our stuff is all in there, like our bags and stuff.

And then a nurse is, my nurse was so sweet. She said, do you want the curtain open or closed? I was like, oh, keep it open please. Like something to look at. And she's like, oh, where's your phone? I was like, ⁓ and packed it up. Andrew packed it up. So then it took a while for Andrew to come from the nursery to me. And eventually my nurse was like, let me call the nursery. Because on Andrew's end, he was like, it took a while.

So Andrew's like, is everything OK? What's going on? He no idea. And there wasn't that much communication, I think, between the two places. So finally, my nurse was like, let me call the nursery. Let them know you're done, because I'm sure they're done. whatever they're doing in there doesn't take that long. Yeah. So finally, I don't know how long, maybe like 40 minutes or maybe an hour. They come back. And it was funny. It was like Andrew and then like Rio and his little bassinet on wheels.

Yeah. Like two nurses and they're like, here's a baby. Do want to try feeding him? And I was like, my arms are dead. Like I have no control. I'm like, I feel like noodles. I was like, um, I'm scared. My arms feel like noodles. Like not right now. And they were like, oh. Like not like actually like they were just like surprised to hear that and then you could see it on their face. And I was like, yes, are you like, but no, but they were really, really nice.

And they were like chatting with the Andrew. Like it was just like their initial reaction. No fault to them. Like it's like, that's not obviously not the normal thing you hear. Well, like why not? Like you were exhausted. I was a, yeah, true. You know what I mean? I mean, it doesn't matter if their reaction was that they probably were like, they have multiple patients. They might not remember how tired you were. Like Andrew was chatting with them.

They were getting to know each other. You know what I mean? They're in a good vibe. They're in a different state. They're in different state completely. Totally makes sense. But you had just gotten out of surgery. Literally. I feel like that's not crazy. You should be like, not at this time. At this moment, I'm I'm super excited about my son being born. Yes, exactly. You were afraid to drop him. Yeah. Because you're so tired. feeding them you have to like hold them up to your boob.

Yeah it's an actual action you're not just like chilling. And there was like the railings are up in the hospital but they're low railings it's not like you could like rest your arm on them. And you're again fighting for your life up here. Yes so Andrew comes back. can't add another stressor. He's like are you okay? And I was like I cannot talk about it and I said don't like I am gonna freak out don't ask me about it I can't talk about it I can't think about it right now.

He's like got it and so much credit to him because he just was like got it. do. So yeah, bless him. And yeah, he like really held the family together in that moment. Like he was I didn't touch the diaper. Yeah. He's never changed a diaper in his life and then went to changing literally all of them. Yeah, as he should. Like, you know, and he was excited too. ⁓ But yeah, finally, we got a room to move to the mother baby unit and then I was drinking juice and something so it gave me a little bit of energy.

I held him as we went back to the... Did I hold him as we went I don't even remember. But I held him before we went to the mother baby unit. So I didn't hold him eventually. Which was so sweet. I mean, course. little baby. Of course. But yeah, I fully... And then I was on my phone for a while. ⁓ my gosh. My other cousin just entered the backyard with Jessie. With her baby. Are you guys recording right now?

Oh, she brought her camera. OMG. Sorry. Continue. No, I mean, that's kind of like that's his, you know, that's the story. And yeah, his name is Rio Sinclair means cleansing river. Cleansing river. Cleansing river. You didn't need your notes, did you? No, think I, yeah, I've I part of like the processing like I think that's also maybe why postpartum was there were a couple of reasons I had a tough postpartum and high anxiety. Yeah. One of them, think, was just like processing that whole experience.

Very understandable. Yeah. And like going back and reading the messages I was sending and everything. ⁓ Yeah. It just like I made sure I did process everything. And even when I thought I had processed it all, it would hit me again sometimes. So now I feel good and I can look back on it and reflect on it. as soon as it happened, I was like, that was Well, it maybe was the worst experience of my life still, but it was like, can never go through that again.

Like I was so scared of doing that again. Now I'm like, I remember you saying that. Yeah, exactly. Like I would do it if I had to, you know, obviously wouldn't be my preference, but like I do feel so much stronger mentally that I, I know I got through it. I know I can get through it again. Yeah. As much as it sucked. yeah, Rio Sinclair is the best. little boy. He's so sweet. Our cleansing river.

Our cleansing river. Yeah. There's a lot of meaning behind his name for us, but yeah. I love it. Yes. Liz, thanks for sharing that with us. ⁓ of course. And everyone at home. Yeah. It is funny because like all in all, feel like having him has been very healing in a way, just like for, I don't know, also maybe TMI, maybe trigger warning. I did have a miscarriage before I had Rio. ⁓ it was 12, 12 weeks when I miscarried.

So that also was hard. operating it again. yeah, so like, feel like, still like, I still feel like all this was like healing. yeah, yeah, but like, yeah, so that too, like, there was a lot of like, now we've got like, what, like, I don't even know what's 12 months of, of, yeah, basically had like back to back first trimesters, which first trimesters sucks. That's crazy. So like, how first trimester had like two months off. We're like, okay, we definitely want kids.

We tried again. Right. you, but you did, that did affect you greatly. So you had to like regroup. Yeah. To put it very mildly. Yes. But very mildly. You know. Yeah. I could talk about a different time if anyone is interested. Again, I know it can be like a little bit of a trigger, but also after having gone through it. trigger warning. But I think. Part of being okay and healing from that is hearing other people's stories and not feeling alone in it, which no one talks about.

Totally. I realize. No one talks about having a miscarriage. They're low key traumatic. Not low key. It is traumatic. The fact that as a younger woman, I assumed in my 20s that maybe no one talked about it because it wasn't a big deal. When something's not talked about, my assumption is kind of like... unnecessary to talk about. I mean as a younger person I would say now I don't know that I would think that but that's not true.

Right. That's not true. Yeah. And like obviously some people don't talk about some things because it's super sensitive. Right. There's that. like. Well I feel like you don't feel comfortable talking about it yet. ⁓ But I just. Yeah. It's super important for me who wants to get pregnant and have kids one day to hear about it because like it's so common. It is so common. And it really is a lot. Yeah, it's so common and that doesn't take away from how important it is, you know, just because it's so common, but it does help so much to know how common it is.

If that makes sense. No, it's 100%. You're not alone in it. And some people have gone through it, which is sad. But also there's a community that is there to support you. it's probably people in your life have gone through it that you can talk to and you just feel better. Like I felt better sharing my story, not everyone does, but I felt better sharing my story but also hearing other people's experiences as well. anyway, that is it.

Pregnancy and this kind of this topic is something that I feel like we've chatted about as a theory. You know what I mean? Yeah. What are your thoughts on thinking about getting pregnant? getting pregnant, having a kid, like what is your perspective on that now having done it? Like as opposed to when we were like newly married or something. ⁓ it's crazy because when you are young and you think about it, you're like, ⁓ it's just something that like is part of life that you do.

And then the older you get, the more you realize like how serious it is. And you're not just bringing a child into the world. You're becoming a parent. Like you have to choose to parent this person forever. So there's so much more like depth and meaning to it. but you also realize the responsibility of it. And then also it's a lot on your body. Like it's, and it's a beautiful thing and I wouldn't take it away.

Like I want to be able to do this, but it is a lot on your body and like you have to heal. And even after having a C-section, especially like forces you to really, really slow down and heal. And it's just, yeah, it's a lot. So it's a lot more serious than. and beautiful for sure, but like you come out on the other end and it's like, ⁓ my gosh, like I did that. Yeah. Like that was a lot and I did it.

And pregnancy common, but so incredibly personal, deep. extremely. One of the most common things we as humans, we as women and childbearing people do, but like so singular to you. Correct. Yeah. No, it is. Yeah. And I think you like you have this information and I think also maybe social media helps with this in a way because people are sharing their experiences throughout. But like it's not easy. It is definitely a sacrifice. And not that that has to be a bad thing.

It's not. It's a beautiful thing still. But it is not easy. And you're limited in what you can do. You're limited in your energy, your time, your physical capabilities, what you can like eat even and Yeah, like it affects you mentally. affects you mentally. A postpartum affects you mentally. then you have it. So yeah, it's just like it's definitely more, more than I thought when I was younger. I like that actually more because more can be anything.

More can be anything. Yeah, exactly. So yeah. for sharing. Happy holidays. We've a lot in this episode. We've been to Easter, we've gone on planes, we're together, we're in your childhood bedroom, we're in my childhood bedroom. I had a child. You had a child? I have one still. You do. do still have one currently. continue to grow and you continue to heal. Exactly. for almost five months in and like feel really good. I'm feeling more like myself than I have in a long time because again, pregnant for so long.

Yeah, like you just don't feel like yourself for that long. Like you feel like almost like the same level. Yeah. And now I feel like, oh, like I'm like, like energy again. You're like, I forgot we could go up. Exactly. So I'm feeling good. That's awesome. Very exciting. great catching up with you. It's been great catching up with you. Give us five stars. Subscribe and thanks for listening. Cute. Cute. Fun. Every time we do it, I'm like, this is so fun.

is. It's so fun. It was fun. All All right. I'll move to Puerto Rico. Fine. Please.